Clegg, Like a Magician Without a Hat and Rabbit?
If any subject is sooner or later made into a musical from love, death, murder, tragedy, war, racial prejudice to the Nazis, Margaret Thatcher, Ofsted and the NHS, then somebody will surely write one called Coalition, the Musical.
And why not? It has all the ingredients of goodies/baddies, thwarted hopes/dreams, false dawns, romances and embraces both genuine and illicit and above all, it is dripping with cliche and stereotype.
So, in that spirit, let us consider how current politics plays as musical theatre.
Chess, Checkmate
In Chess (1986), the musical by Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus from Abba with lyrics by Tim Rice, there is a love triangle. An American and a Russian compete through the game and there’s a woman who manages one and falls in love with the other.
For lovers of stretched analogies,the Coalition government could be likened to that show with Cameron and Clegg, philosophically opposing each other in competition, albeit working together, while the third party is that seductive woman, Power.
Politics has often been compared with the game of chess, Monopoly or any one of a number of mind games. Sometimes it’s hard not to see it in that light.
James Naughtie, in his book The Rivals (2001) about the Blair-Brown axis up to 2001, described the Cabinet table as like a psychological chessboard. ‘The games are multidimensional and the lines of attack and defence cross each other in a pattern that is always changing. With each move, a new prospect opens up’.
So, what are we to make of it as the tensions grow greater within the alliance of convenience?
The By-Election Blues
After the surprising result of the Eastleigh by election where the Lib Dems held the seat, we can see a new outbreak of mood music as the politics game goes into a new phase.
You might think the result was a surprise because the reason for the by election was the exposure of lies and deceit from the previous Lib Dem member and the torrid week that Nick Clegg had over the allegations of sexually inappropriate behaviour by a senior member of his party. You might even be surprised that the winning margin was a mere 1771 votes.
You might find it a surprise that UKIP came second, when Cameron had promised an in-out Euro referendum after 2015. Or not so surprising if you remember he promised one before and didn’t deliver.
You might be surprised that Labour didn’t do better as the main opposition party. Or not, when you hear that the Press Association have calculated on those figures that in a general election Labour would have a majority of 60 overall.
The Same Old Songs
Having said all that, there are no surprises as politicos from all sides rehearse familiar, much loved favourite tunes. Cameron is singing ‘We can still win people back’ and ‘It’s Only Protest’.
Conservative Party chairman Grant Shapps tried to encourage the demoralised troops with his ‘Governments in mid-term regardless get a drubbing. Let’s wait until the general election.’ Unfortunately for him, many can’t wait.
Clegg stepped up to give us a rendition of his ‘Stunning, stunning, just stunning’ about holding the nerve, standing the ground and a new favourite, ‘We Can Be a Party of Government (And Still Win)’.
He was joined centre stage by his party President Tim Farron with a moving monologue, that some thought might have been entitled Bring on the Clowns: ‘The narrative that we are written off and we can’t win anything and we are going down the plughole in 2015 is now, I think, completely confounded – there’s a lot of people with egg on their faces this morning’.
Certainly the notion of egg-faced clowns is a breakaway from the old commedia dell’Arte traditions. But equally, relative newcomers to the art-form, UKIP, put up their candidate who came second to sing of a ‘A Humungous Political Shock’ which will certainly storm the download charts.
Her boss, the larger-than-life character of Nick Farage blamed it all on Cameron, saying in effect, it was his own fault. ‘People look at him and ask is he a Conservative? Oh no he’s not!’ There is danger of straying into pantomime here, but no matter.
He struck a chord with his lines: ‘He’s talking about gay marriage, wind turbines, unlimited immigration from India and he wants Turkey to join the EU. Their problems are not UKIP, but their leader’.
Not to be outdone, the media have been jumping about with their versions of ‘Increasing Tensions on the Backbenches’ and ‘Trouble at the Grassroots’, topped with the real showstopper, ‘Cameron Under Threat!’.
Back to the Drawing (Chess) Board
What it means in the Cabinet room and beyond, is that the junior Coalition partners have now been handed a much-strengthened role, psychologically if not actually. Conservative MPs who have long chafed under the yoke of alliance constraints will now have to reassess their position.
Cameron is what they have to lead them into that next election. To change that before 2015 would be a folly beyond imagination because the alternative(s) are just not on song with the electorate right now.
But a week, an hour, a song or two, a whole opera is a long time in politics. And that old fat lady is still singing in full voice.
Further reading:
Musicals Are Made From Any Subject Matter, However Unlikely
There’s No Success Like Failure in Musical Theatre
Image: David Spender
The Performance 